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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841476">Visiting Hours Are Over</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Nin/pseuds/Scarlet_Nin'>Scarlet_Nin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Reader Inspired Stories [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Academy (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack Treated Seriously, Dysfunctional Family, For The Little Girl Klaus Is Like The Ghosts, Humor, Klaus Uses Praying To Accidently Give God A Call, Mentioned Ben Hargreeves, People Call Klaus A Ghost Telephone and He Goes Along With It, She Can't Make Him Shut Up, Trespassing Into Life To Tell A Bitch To Shut His Piehole, Weird Side-Power</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:36:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,179</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25841476</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scarlet_Nin/pseuds/Scarlet_Nin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Never coming home to an empty house might sound nice in theory, but it's less pleasant when the people waiting for you are the dead that refuse to leave. Klaus always expects some guests and he figures today would be no different when they head home after the lovely family dinner at the restaurant. He's right. Kinda. </p><p>The little girl in the summer dress standing in their living room like a displeased mother waiting for her kids to come home after passing curfew isn't what he expected to see though.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>The Umbrella Reader Inspired Stories [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1775809</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>941</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Visiting Hours Are Over</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tempest_Raining/gifts">Tempest_Raining</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is for you Tempest_Raining! I found your request cute and my mind immediately ran away with it. Thus, this was born. Hope you like it &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first time in months they were actually having a nice day out just with the family.</p><p>Klaus should’ve known good things can’t last.</p><p>Aside from nearly getting kicked out in the Italian restaurant across town due to the fact a fight almost broke out twice—almost, that was an improvement! —the evening was pleasant. Certainly, nicer than most of the meals they shared in a while. Sure, they stuck out like a sore thumb among the rather fancy establishment, except for Allison, who got the glamor of Hollywood flowing through her veins, but nobody lost a finger for trying to steal desserts and the parmesan didn’t end up sticking to their clothes and hair.</p><p>They’d gotten a smile out of Five and a laugh out of Vanya. They didn’t even put up a fight over who got to sit where in the car on the ride back to the house.</p><p>And that’s what should’ve tipped him off. Call him paranoid, Five would agree on better being safe than sorry and anything that had the stamp seal of approval from his cynical little war machine of a brother shouldn’t be written off.</p><p>He’d remember that next time.</p><p>They’d scrambled out of the car as soon as Vanya parked much to his relief, because getting stuck between Diego and Luther to prevent a brawl from breaking out and the ensuring car crash that would happen, was like sitting between two toddler squabbling over who’s turn it was on choosing the television channel. Needless to say, he got more than one swat to the back of his head before Five had turned around from the passenger seat to threaten to let them walk home if they wouldn’t stop acting their mental age rather than their physical one.</p><p>In a show of brotherly solidarity Klaus jammed his elbows into Luther’s and Diego’s ribs, aiming for a spot training had taught them would hurt the most.</p><p>They’d went silent after that as Five turned around with a smirk on his face.</p><p>“I’m calling dibs on shotgun next time.” Klaus stretches with a groan.</p><p>A single eyebrow raises on Five’s forehead. “Children don’t get a right to sit in the front.”</p><p>“Says the guy who needs a booster seat to reach the steering wheel,” Diego says, ignoring the glare Five sends him as they walk up to the front door.</p><p>Allison sighs, arms linked through with Vanya’s. “Everybody gets a turn. There, problem solved.”</p><p>Vanya hums in agreement.</p><p>“Does that mean I get a turn on the driver’s seat?” Klaus asks, eyes shining with glee.</p><p>“Hell no.”</p><p>“In your dreams.”</p><p>A chorus of no’s.</p><p>Klaus huffs heavily. “But Diego let me drive!”</p><p>“Diego also thinks running around clad in black from head to toe at night to fight petty criminals makes up for the fact he rescues cats’ stuck in trees,” Luther says, unimpressed, dodging the kick aimed to the back of his knee from his brother.</p><p>Allison nods, lips curling upwards into a smile as she says teasingly, “Our tough guy’s first choice is to jump through glass rather than to check if the door’s locked.”</p><p>“Oh, fuck you,” Diego grumbles, “I had other priorities.” He glances towards Vanya, who’s smile dims slightly at the reminder. Seeing the mood deflate, Klaus is quick to interfere.</p><p>“At least Diego lives a little. My driving isn’t that bad, y’know. Ben totally had the time of his life.” Klaus shots the spot besides him a grin. “Oh, c’mon you know what I meant, who cares about the semantics?” He rolls his eyes, dismissing Ben’s response with a wave of his hand like he’s swatting away a noisy fly before he blinks in surprise, pumping a fist into the air. “Hell yeah, baby, the even Numbers stick together!”</p><p>Five snorts. “Still four against three.”</p><p>Seeing Klaus’ mouth open to retort, Allison clears her throat. “Anyone up for a round of drinks?”</p><p>“Make that two,” Five says, quickening his strides, partly because of the downpouring rain but mostly for the promise of alcohol after being denied in the restaurant. “Next time a waiter offers me a kids’ menu I’ll cut his tongue out and break his fingers.”</p><p>“Simply asking him to hand you a different menu would do the job.” Luther look at him disapprovingly, quick to come to the aid of innocent people. “Or to let us order for you rather than to dismember a poor man for making an honest mistake.”</p><p>“That’s rich coming from you,” Five says, snidely.</p><p>Luther winces, adverting his eyes.</p><p>“Drinks sound good,” Vanya speaks up, fumbling to get out her keys to open the door. After the last time someone broke in, they’d all agreed to upgrade their security system. They patiently wait for her to pull them out of her purse, letting her unlock the door to follow her inside.</p><p>“I’m gonna go and get glasses.” Klaus calls out, rushing ahead. “Since apparently drinking straight from the bottle marks you as an alcoholic according to therapists.”</p><p>Diego curses when he gets a coat thrown over his head, straightening up from taking off his shoes to call after his brother. “You never went to therapy!”</p><p>“Rehab begs to disagree!”</p><p>Hanging up her coat, Allison shakes her head. “I’ll go and make sure he won’t trip over his own feet, carrying all that glass.” She hurries after him, Vanya close behind with Five at her heels. Diego and Luther shuffle after them, sharing a look of mild discomfort at the thought of leaving their brother unsupervised at the bar even if he has got a good hold on being sober.</p><p>They walk into the living room, Diego nearly running into Vanya’s back as he rounds the corner.</p><p>“What’s the holdup—”</p><p>He trails off, because there’s a small girl standing in the middle of their living room, glaring at Klaus, who shamelessly gapes at her with his mouth hanging wide open. Diego wrinkles his nose at the sight, putting a hand onto the knife hidden by his belt in case the girl is like Five.</p><p>She barely spares him a glance, amusement flashing through her dark eyes before she returns to burn holes into the target of her ire.</p><p>“Oh shit,” Klaus says, picking his jaw off the floor, shielding his eyes with a hand. He lifts his hand as if to block the lights, to risk a peek to see if the girl is still there, before using it to gesture towards the bar. “You want a drink?”</p><p>Allison gasps, “Klaus!” she says, scandalized.</p><p>“We need to talk,” The girl cuts in, not bothering to comment on the offer for a drink.</p><p>Klaus grimaces. “The conversation starter for bad news, oh boy. Lemme guess, it’s me not you? Any chance we can reschedule this break up to a later date?”</p><p>Thunder roars outside, a flash of lightening lighting up the room.</p><p>Five’s gaze flickers towards the window then to the girl as Klaus deflates and mumbles “Message received. Guess that’s a no.” and he takes a bold step forward, hands already clenched to fists by his sides, ready to flare up blue.</p><p>“I believe introductions are in order.”</p><p>It’s not a demand as much as it’s a threat and the rest of them walk into the room, forming a semi-circle opposite to the small girl in the summer dress, not nearly dressed appropriately for the raging storm outside. Allison crosses her arms, a frown on her face, obvious uncomfortable with them essentially ganging up on a child but Diego can’t find it in himself to care when Five is as tense as when he informed them of the apocalypse they prevented.</p><p>“Well?” Five says impatiently when the girl ignores him. “Who are you?” Barely waiting a beat for her to answer, he pushes on, narrowing his eyes. “Are you part of the Commission?”</p><p>“Oh, relax.” Klaus puts a hand on his shoulder. “She’s here for me, not you.”</p><p>That doesn’t sound ominous at all, Diego thinks. The others seem to agree, judging how they all subtly shift closer to their brother.</p><p>“I doubt any of your former buddies have met her yet,” Klaus muses. “Or lived to tell the tale. Technically, she’s not a part of your evil organization.”</p><p>Five shrugs off his hand, glowering up at him. “What does “technically” mean?”</p><p>“She’s not here to cause the apocalypse.” Klaus shrugs, walking forward towards the bar to get himself a glass of water. “Or at least, I can’t see her being part of it. Seems like a waste of time and effort to me, then again, what do I know?” He takes out a few glasses, pouring whiskey into them and setting them off to the side. “The point is, you don’t have anything to worry about.”</p><p>“Somebody has to,” Vanya says under her breath and Diego agrees with the sentiment. As much as he loves his brother, Klaus is the worst example of self-preservation one could find.</p><p>“If she’s not part of the commission then who is she?” Allison turns to look at the girl, eyes softening. “Where are your parents?”</p><p>Behind the counter, Klaus chokes on his water. “Oh my God,” he wheezes out, dissolving into a fit of giggles at his own words, leaning against the counter to hold himself up.</p><p>The girl’s face darkens as she turns around leaving them to face her back. “This isn’t a friendly visit.”</p><p>Klaus’ laughter abruptly stops.</p><p>“Alright, that’s enough,” Diego cuts in. “Would someone please explain what the fuck is going on?” He turns to Klaus. “Do we have to worry about her trying to murder you or not?”</p><p>The girl scoffs loudly, but doesn’t turn around. “You certainly have to worry about keeping him alive.”</p><p>“Is that a threat?” Five asks, disappearing into the blink of an eye to reappear on a seat at the bar, baring his teeth in a tight-lipped smile, holding one of Diego’s knives.</p><p>“A reminder.” She looks annoyed, pinning Klaus with another sharp look as he reaches over to pluck the knife out of Five’s hands. “That your brother seems to forget with how often he comes close to trespassing into my domain. Once was bad enough.”</p><p>Vanya goes still from where she was standing, hands letting go off the sleeves she’s been tugging over her hands, a habit showing her nervousness. “Domain?” She repeats, quietly.</p><p>“What do you call showing up unannounced in our house?” Luther rubs at his forehead, deeming the girl harmless as he crosses his arms above his chest. “We apologize on the behalf of our brother,” He recites the words like they’re a script they’ve all learnt to say at one point, either to Reginald or some unfortunate bystander. “We’ll make sure he won’t bother you again. Now, would you please leave?”</p><p>“The only time I’ve ever showed up earlier to a party than I should and the host kicks me out.”</p><p>Klaus can see the cogs turning in Five’s mind. The way he stiffens in his seat, spine rigid and eyes growing wide with every dot that connects across the whiteboard in his head, piercing the puzzle pieces to form a picture.</p><p>“I told you last time, I don’t want you to show up.” She says, scowling. She inclines her head towards the empty seat next to Five, who’s gone pale. “Don’t you think you owe it to him?”</p><p>Realization – and horror – is dawning on Five’s face. “What’s her name?”</p><p>“Take it easy, old man.” Klaus eyes his brother in concern, not liking the wild look on his face. Last time he’d seen it someone had to die. “Please, don’t freak out on me now, Ben already is in the middle of a crisis and having both of you freak out will freak out <em>me</em>—"</p><p>Five twists around on his seat, hand shooting out to grab him by the collar. There’s an edge to his voice that sounds the tiniest bit hysterical as he leans in close and hisses, “Answer the question!”</p><p>“It’s not an easy question to answer.” Klaus tries to pry off the hands, but Five won’t budge.</p><p>“A <em>name</em>, Klaus. Give me her name.”</p><p>“Hands off, Five.” Diego hurries over, tugging Five backwards off the chair by his jacket to let Klaus breathe again. “We don’t attack family members, remember the agreement?”</p><p>“And you people call me overdramatic.” Klaus rubs at his throat, watching Five jump out of Diego’s grip to reappear a foot away from the girl. “She’s not here to kill me, you or anybody else, so chill and breathe. That goes for all of you. Yes, Ben, I’m aware that you don’t breathe anymore, do it anyway.”</p><p>There’s a very long moment of silence, where Five attempts to wrestle his breath under control while Klaus mimics breathing techniques and Vanya staggers over to sit down on an arm chair, holding her head in her hands.</p><p>Allison shares a confused look with Luther that Diego mirrors.</p><p>Then, the girl snaps her fingers, easily drawing the attention of the room back onto her.</p><p>“I don’t have all day,” She says, irritated. “I’m busy. Which means you gotta stop trying to call me, understood?”</p><p>Klaus’ eyebrows furrow in confusion. “Call you?”</p><p>“Yes, call me.” She flicks her hair over her shoulder, pointing a finger at him. “You need to stop. I can’t have you distract me with your annoying voice when I’m trying to do my work. Normally, I have a spam filter, but you’re a special case that instead of going straight to voice mail gets through to me.”</p><p>“Wait, wait, wait.” Klaus holds up a hand. “I didn’t give you a call—I don’t even have your number!”</p><p>She clicks her tongue. “Everybody has my number. And last Sunday, you chattered my ears off.”</p><p>Vanya makes a high-pitched noise in the back of her throat, lifting her head. “You did what?”</p><p>“You’re not allowed to pray anymore,” Five says, firmly, marching up towards the bar to snatch a vodka bottle out of the cabinet, taking a swing straight from the bottle. “We’re not going to church again. Now, promise her to never use this weird side effect of your powers and be done with it.”</p><p>Diego’s knife clatters to the floor and Allison cups her mouth with her hands. Luther takes a step back, frozen as he stares at the little girl with fear etched onto his face.</p><p>They seem to take the news much harder than him, Klaus thinks, putting a hand over his chest.</p><p>“I swear on the ashes of my dead bastard of a dad that I put my cigarette out on, I won’t abuse my speed dial to the afterlife without good reason. Cross my heart and hope to die.”</p><p>“Don’t make me come downstairs again.” The girl warns, voice icy before another roar of thunder claps and with the next lightening in the distance, she vanishes.</p><p>“Weeell,” Klaus drawls out, draping himself across the counter. “Guess I’ve got another power, huh? Too bad it’s still not a very useful one, since she doesn’t like me very much.”</p><p>Allison’s legs give out underneath her as she sinks to the floor.</p><p>Vanya motions for Five to hand over the bottle, foregoing her glass and wiping her mouth with the back of her hand after a few gulps. She actually swats away Five’s hand when he reaches to take it back, holding it close to her chest.</p><p>“Christ—” Diego chokes out, stopping himself before reaching for one of the glasses Klaus prepared. He downs his own, then the next and afterwards the third, slamming the glass down hard enough it cracks. “—what the actual fuck, Klaus?”</p><p>“Did that…was that really—did we really just meet God?”</p><p>Luther flinches as he whispers the name, eyes glancing towards the ceiling with alarm like he’s waiting for the lightning to strike him down. Klaus can’t help but snort, earning himself a slap to the arm from Diego that will most likely turn into a nasty bruise.</p><p>“Ow! Why do you always have to resort to violence to deal with your feelings?” Klaus holds his throbbing shoulder, glowering at Diego. “Bottle them up like the rest of us and let them out when you’re alone. Or buy a punching bag.”</p><p>“Do y-y-you have any-y idea how close we came to p-pick a fight with her?”</p><p>Diego downs the other two glasses, wincing against the burn of the whiskey. The hand wrapped around his glass is shaking.</p><p>“How’d y-you imagine that would have turned o-out?”</p><p>“Pointless,” Klaus says, “Since I doubt it’s your time yet. Otherwise, we would’ve all died in the apocalypse, so she wouldn’t have killed you. Provocation or not.”</p><p>Halfway through reaching for another bottle of whiskey, Five freezes. There’s a storm brewing in his eyes and he lowers his hand slowly to grip onto the counter, knuckles becoming stark white.</p><p>Klaus squirms underneath the heavy scrutiny. Five’s eyes only burn in fury when he wants to set the world ablaze for the cruelty life inflicted on them.</p><p>Time to get the hell out of the line of fire.</p><p>“Would you look at the time,” he croons, inching towards the door, away from Five. He fakes a yawn, walking backwards. Running would be a waste of effort when Five can teleport to catch him, so he needs to make it less obvious he’s about to make a break for it. “I’ll leave you here to deal with the revelation, give you some time to process that God is real and she’s a woman—girl-power, yay—and catch up on my beauty sleep. Have fun with the booze when I can’t. Gute Nacht.”</p><p>“Once was bad enough,” Five says, “That’s what she said.”</p><p>A hand clamps down on his shoulder—Diego’s, and three stares join Five’s in staring him down.</p><p>Fuck.</p><p>The hand squeezes his shoulder warningly. “You have some explaining to do, buddy.”</p><p>Forcing out a laugh, Klaus holds up his hands. “Oh, that’s a funny story…” He surveys the room for help, finding none in Vanya’s and Allison’s horrified expression, in Luther’s stone-frozen speechlessness, Five’s tense, distraught face or Diego’s bruising grip. Neither does he find any sympathy in Ben’s eyes.</p><p>His ghost brother possibly looks smug about the fact he has to come clean now.</p><p>What an ass.</p><p>Though, he has a feeling by the time he’s done with the story, nobody will be laughing.</p><p>
  <em>Dear little Girl in the sky, thanks for ruining my evening.</em>
</p><p>He hopes his spiteful thoughts reach the afterlife as Diego steers him towards the couch.</p><p>Tonight, had been such a nice evening until she showed up.</p><p>As if to answer, a roar of thunder goes off again.</p><p>Grateful for having two hands, Klaus flips off the ceiling and Ben, who’s slouching over the back of Vanya’s arm chair with a self-satisfied smile on his face.</p><p>Let’s see how long Ben’s joy can last when he notices his corporal privileges got revoked. Visiting hours for the family are officially over for the next two days.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Klaus, agnostic with a lot of chaotic energy: *goes to church with his fam and jokingly prays and lets his thoughts run wild*<br/>The Little Girl upstairs: *slams head against a tree* SHUT THE FUCK UP!<br/>Reginald: Have fun dealing with the headache. </p><p> </p><p>Right. So, apparently when I get motivated and not side-tracked by my own story ideas, I do actually manage to write requests.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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